TDhahan

I just, I’m tired of being hurt all the time. I’m tired of being played for a fool. I’m tired of feeling pathetic. I’m tired of having people talk about me behind my back. I’m tired of all the rumors. I’m tired of people making promises and then breaking them. I’m tired of trusting people just to have it thrown back in my face. I’m tired of having my heart broken. I’m just tired.

I fucking love you to death and I wish you would notice already. I don’t know what I’m going to do. You’re perfect in every single way, even if you don’t see it. You make my day everyday. You don’t even have to talk. Just seeing your face makes me feel a million times better. It absolutely kills me that all my friends think we would never make it. I would do anything to have you let alone keep you. If you would just give me a chance I could make you the happiest guy in the world. Every time I see you all I think is “fuck. I want to kiss you”. So just give me a chance? Because we would be perfect together.

There’s nothing worse than losing who you thought was our best friend. They just wake up one morning and decide they don’t like you anymore and just leave you. Ignore you. Hurt you. Break promises, and forget all those memories. It’s truly sad, especially when you did nothing wrong. Don’t worry about my feelings though, nobody else does.

Do you know why our relationship scares the shit out of me?

Because I’m 100% certain of what I want. I know that I want you. ALL OF YOU. From 4 years ago when I met you up until the day I die. I know what I want. But with you, you’ve been so unsure of it all. You’ve left multiple times and each time you came back I gave you another chance. I didn’t even think about it. I don’t need to think about that. Cause I need you, but it’s so god damn scary but this entire relationship is in your hands. I’d NEVER leave you. No matter what we went through. I know that for a fact. You know how I know? Because I’m only me when I’m with you. I know what I want and need and I’m not gonna stop wanting or needing that ever. But with you, it could all end any minute. So living with the uncertainty of what will happen next with you happens to scare the shit out of me. It’s like it’s all in your hands…so reverse the roles just once, and imagine what it’d be like to be on the other side.

here’s to the kids who

try their hardest to

be good enough for everyone;

who spend hours reading random

quotes to find the

right one, who listen

to the same song

dozens of times

because the lyrics

mean a lot;

who deserve

so much more

than they get

and are willing

to fight for it

and whose wish

upon a shooting star

was wasted on someone

that will never care.

When you lose someone, someone you love. When they break your heart. It’s the hardest thing you could ever go through. And no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away. You may think you’re getting better, but then you get a flaskback, or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits you all over again. all at once, like a stab in the chest. You fall apart, for the hundredth time, and you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. You love this person with all of your heart, even though you know you shouldn’t. They hurt you worse than you’ve ever been hurt, they stole your happiness. But yet, you still want them, and only them, other people come along and give you chances to move on, but you know you don’t want to. It upsets you that you might be moving on, because you promised you never would. And even if they broke all their promises, you want to keep yours. On top of that, you’re terrified. Terrified of getting hurt again. But it’s not like it matters anyway, at the end of the day you’re still thinking about the person who has left you completely broken. You don’t want to miss them anymore. You don’t want to love them anymore. But you know you always will.

I kind of miss you, not as in I miss you because I like you but I miss talking to you everyday like we used to, talk as friends, talking about everything and anything all day everyday, spilling our emotions talking about music and our problems, everything. I just miss when we used to talk, now it’s like we don’t even know each other anymore and it kind of hurts, even though we weren’t anything, it still hurts knowing that we’ve grown apart and it went by so quickly, I wish I could have you back in the way where we’d just rely on each other, as friends.

“Can we still be friends?” Can anyone truly be friends again after a break up? You give a person your everything. In turn, they learn everything about you, every insignificant fact. But suddenly they disappear. They aren’t yours anymore and you are somehow supposed to talk to them. There will be awkward pauses where the “I love you” used to go and the colourful conversations will become dull and painful. And even if years pass, you still won’t talk normally because talking to them at all will remind you why you fell in love with them in the first place.

Do you know how it feels to let go of someone you really love for a long time, just for them to be happy?